First, I must admit, I like Olivia Rodrigo’s music. The Driver’s License singer recently released a new album titled GUTS, a follow up to her debut album SOUR. In my typical semi-obsessive fashion, I have already listened to the album a half a dozen times. In her sophomore album, Rodrigo exhibits influences of Avril Lavigne and Taylor Swift, but her distinctive melancholy self-reflective style still shines through.
One song in particular, Making the bed, stands out to me. In 3 minutes of critical self-reflection, Rodrigo, who writes her own music, sings about recognizing her own responsibility for the situations in which she finds herself. She writes,
"Every good thing has turned into somethin' I dread And I'm playin' the victim so well in my head But it's me who's been makin' the bed"
It’s easy to float through life blaming everyone else for the difficulties in our lives. Victim mentality protects our ego and helps us cope with hard situations. But, more often than not, we make our own beds in which we must sleep. Each day we wake up with a chance to do better; a new day to make the bed again. But, more often than not, our worse impulses ruin it for us:
"Want it, so I got it, did it, so it's done Another thing I ruined, I used to do for fun Another piece of plastic I could just throw away Another conversation with nothing good to say I thought it, so I said it, took it 'cause I can"
Who can’t relate to that? In this age of instant gratification, of same-day Amazon delivery, of DoorDash and Instacart, it’s almost a forgone conclusion that at some point we’re going to buy something that we don’t need just because we wanted it.
Perhaps even more significant is the line “I thought it, so I said it.” Today’s political discourse has demonized polite interactions in the name of the “War on Woke.” So many of us, myself included, get caught in the trap of saying things we are thinking, even though those thoughts are hurtful and would be better left unsaid.
Don’t get me wrong, speaking the truth is important, especially if asked. But the way we deliver that truth, the tone and the connotations of the words we choose, greatly influence how that truth is received. A hostile delivery falls on deaf ears and does nothing but harm relationships.
Sometimes, being rude is justified as “honesty.” And if that’s the bed you want to make for yourself, don’t complain when you have to sleep in it.
If you find yourself, like Rodrigo, “sometimes… feel[ing] like [you] don’t wanna be where [you are],” it might be a good idea to take a step back and evaluate your own role in where you are. You may not have control over every aspect of a given situation, but you do have control over yourself and how you respond to those situations.
Sweet dreams.
