I placed my fresh, unopened can of Coke on the patio table. Instantly, a thick film of condensate formed on the black painted aluminum, distorting its lettering. The water, driven from its home in the lake below by the sun’s cosmic heat, found its respite on the can’s frigid borders. It was a popular destination for the weary water vapor. Soon, a small stream seemed to arise magically from the can as more and more water congregated on the chilled surface. It began to flow, stronger and stronger, as fast as a garden hose. A puddle formed on the ground – no, it was more than a puddle. Four inches of water covered my shoes. It seeped through the worn brown leatherette and saturated my ankle-high socks.
The can of Coke now looked like a fountain, with a beautifully clear laminar spout coming from its top and rising seven feet above the table. Meanwhile, the pond on the ground continued to be fed by the water streaming from the sides of the can. Slowly, the water level rose until it shyly peaked over the threshold of the door as if to check for strangers. Seeing none, a small trail formed and began surveying the house, rising in level all the while.
I sat motionless in a chair at the patio table. The fountain was soaking my hair and clothes. I had never seen anything like this! The newly damp environment was a stark difference from the blistering sun beating down on my forehead only minutes earlier. I could see the water vapor starting to rise from the growing pool. The air grew thicker with heat and vapor, making it increasingly difficult to breath.
I looked around to see the water rising above my waist. How high will it get? Who will stop it? What is causing this? A sense of danger arose for the first time, but I was more comfortable than ever with the water to shield me from the intense heat. I did not want to move.
Objects started floating past. A potted plant, a chair, tree limbs, plastic tubs. I felt my own chair levitate slightly. The pond was now a full river, connected to the lake below. In fact, the lake itself had risen. Houses in the distance were submerged. There was no sound except the flowing water and the gurgling of the fountain, which was now below water level itself, causing the previously impressive spout to form a bubbling mound instead.
Alarmed, I stood up, only to be carried away by the current. Faster and faster it flowed. I hit a rock, then a tree. I struggled to keep my head above water as I was bashed from side to side in the flood. Then, a scraggly blackjack oak reached out and grabbed me by the shirt, holding me in place as the waves crashed against me. They pounded my chest out of rhythm with my coughs and breaths. I took a giant smack of water right in my face and inhaled some. I struggled to find my breath and evacuate the water as the pain increased in my chest. I could feel myself dying. This is it.
Between the debris and the waves I caught a glimpse of something familiar floating towards me. It was the can of coke, still spraying water in all directions. Closer, and closer it came, with the water forming a hood over the black can. For a second, I thought I saw the shape of a skull inside the hood, as the spouting water momentarily took the shape of a sickle. I reached out to greet it as it approached. My vision was dark, I could barely see.
When the can met my hands I quickly opened it. The loud “pop” and “hiss” seemed to hit me like a gunshot and knocked me into unconsciousness.
When I awoke, I found I was safe from the flood in a wooden dinghy. As I began to travel further and further down the lake, the wood changed to fiberglass, then steel. It doubled, then tripled in size. Soon, I was not even on the water, but instead flying above, surveying the carnage below. I flew higher and higher… above even the clouds. The light drew me in, as though I was being lifted on a sunbeam. It washed over me and dried me until my clothes were thoroughly desiccated. I felt a peace and warmth as I laid my head to rest.
My eyes opened to see a can of coke sitting on the table in front of me. It was covered in condensation, but now warm to the touch. I was drenched in sweat from my body’s attempt to protect me from the summer outdoor oven. Around me, the ground was dry and dusty. The grass seemed to call out, begging for a drink, but no one answered.
I grabbed my warm soda and headed inside to swap it out, kicking off my shoes as I pass through the door. I replaced the warm soda with one ice cold. The first water droplets formed by the time I got to the door. I sat down in the chair and popped the top. The fizz bubbled up slowly but did not spill out.
I felt a raindrop on my shoulder, but looked up to see a sky devoid of any clouds whatsoever. A few birds flew by and a slight breeze cleared the air. I took a deep breath, leaned my chair way back, placed my arm over my eyes, and drifted off to sleep.
